Mean Girls, Meaner Women

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Mean Girls, Meaner Women charts the path a girl traverses from childhood to adulthood that  leads her to oppress women, a path carved out by rigid gender roles for girls and women, internalized self-hate, damaging societal messages about female behavior, and hidden effects of female to female oppression. We use self-hatred as the key link between girls’ relational aggression and women who oppress women.

Mean Girls Meaner Women is unique because it helps women identify and respond to the oft invisible dynamics between them, enabling women to feel important and take themselves and each other seriously. In particular, we discuss several double binds that women experience and how they intertwine with societal norms, expectations about gender roles and other psychological processes and social pressures. We believe cultural norms, especially those regarding gender, must be considered.

This book is unique because it takes girls and women on an exploration of their own experiences, validating unspoken truths about their lives, and it provides them with tools to change their behavior and their relationships with each other as adults. As mothers, women can help their daughters (a) think more critically about the societal messages bombarding young girls about how they should behave (think reality TV!), (b) choose gender behaviors more in-line with the girl’s true self, (c) decrease self-hating and disconnecting behaviors, (d) learn to manage angry, jealous and competitive feelings more effectively, and (e) establish closer bonds with girls as they grow up.

The book provides information/resources that enable the quality of relationships between girls and the quality of relationships between women to be stronger, more collaborative, more authentically open and less bound by cultural norms about gender.

We want women to bond together for the pure joy this connection brings and for the social good to which it can lead.